peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
