did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
