is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
