4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
