At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
