some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
