Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize