its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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