Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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