This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
