why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
