My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
