he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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