do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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