Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
