Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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