i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
