Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
