Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
