Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
