Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Randomize
