that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
