Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
