I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
