Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
