happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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