I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
