Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
