"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
