I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm determined to sit on that face.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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