I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
