found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
