I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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