3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
birth control should be required to get into college
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize