I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
As shirtless as possible
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
