I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
