i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
