found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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