Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
