Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
