Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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