I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
