I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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