Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
