What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
