Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
