you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
