i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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