nut hugger
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
