she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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