with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
