anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
