it hurts more in the daytime
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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