you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize