Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
