oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
