I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Help me help you realize you are a moron
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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