Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
