my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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