I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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