He is an equal opportunity slut.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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