I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
