dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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