that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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