You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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