We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He has the fingertips of a God
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