One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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