when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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